disclosure
tuesday
february 21 2018
1027 pm
me: on the phone rambling about my usual musings, probably and more than likely HIV, political, church or black folks related
sugarbear: babe, you know I still got that video you sent me telling me about your status.
me: ummm, I know you do. *I for real laugh out loud at this point* I’ve thought about posting it but wanted to make sure you were okay with it. I just wasn’t sure.
sugarbear: why not? I think you should. it shows your strength. it shows how you handled the conversation and I am sure others have questions about how to do something like this. so, do it.
me: for real?
sugarbear: yeah.
me: okay, imma do it.
sunday
february 12 2017
1256 pm
I remember this day like no other.
it was unseasonable warm in Memphis and I was out riding around after church.
you had been heavy on my mind.
not because I was growing gleefully anxious and counting down the days til I saw you again.
make no mention of the fact, I was longing to hug your neck and kiss your face.
I even played back the conversations were we talked about what we would do and you had even promised not to fall asleep on me because your demanding schedule left you drained most evenings.
nope…
all of that had been pushed to the recesses of my mind.
I was 136 days positive and although we talked all day every day, I had yet to disclose to you the fact that I was.
I pulled over in office depot parking lot.
propped up the phone in the best angle possible in my car,hit record and let my heart speak…
you set the bar high going forward.
you took me disclosing that I was HIV+ on the chin and didn’t once flinch.
told me that you loved me.
told me that nothing would change.
And it didn’t.
and for that
I appreciate you
I thank you
I love you
February 22, 2018 @ 5:59 PM
Let me say first… you are a courageous and strong woman. He is a courageous and strong man.Your testimony will help someone else who is going through what you are graciously going through. I admire your tenacity and strength. This video truly moved me! God is working through you to reach others! I am in awe of you right now. Sending all of my love to you.
February 22, 2018 @ 10:10 PM
A truly wonderful testament to your strength and character. God bless you! Tears are flowing!
February 23, 2018 @ 11:23 PM
You are so strong. Thank you for sharing this video and experience. I truly believe someone will benefit from them.
February 24, 2018 @ 3:51 AM
I can’t find the words to explain how much I admire your strength. I’ve been living with HIV for 7 years and I still have issues with disclosure at time. I know this was no easy task but you did it!! You are amazing and s/o to Sugarbear too for being so understanding.
February 24, 2018 @ 3:54 AM
Thank you and your sugarbear for sharing this story. You remind me that we have to give people the choice. He reminds us that we have to accept our loves with all the baggage. I wish more of us could be as courageous to allow others to walk away or closer with all the info they need to make a decision. I pray my patients, especially those in long-term relationships, give their partners and themselves this opportunity of freedom. Keep shining!!
February 24, 2018 @ 4:09 AM
These are the heavy intimate moments that people rarely ta all about. The vulnerability that comes with sharing this moment with the world does not go unnoticed and will not return void. Thank you so much for sharing this journey- your a modern day She-ro!
February 24, 2018 @ 4:12 AM
Hey hey!! Believe it or not, your reach is going well beyond those directly affected by HIV. You are showing ALL of us how to stand in our truth, walk in it and wear it proud!
February 24, 2018 @ 6:29 AM
As I have stated before, you are my she-ro. The amount of courage, selflessness, grace, and strength that it takes to not only share your story with us, but to communicate that message to an intimate partner, someone you love and care about is no small feat. Watching the video, I teared up and cried with you because I can only imagine how you must have felt that day. I truly believe that God assigns us who we need in every aspect of our lives and it warms my heart to know that “ Sugarbear” is assigned to you. 😁 He handled receiving that news with such grace. God bless you both. 💙💙💙💙💙
February 25, 2018 @ 1:03 AM
You always have me in tears! This has got to stop, lol. Your strength is truly inspiring, I can’t say it enough. ❤️
February 25, 2018 @ 1:07 AM
I promise that I don’t try to make y’all cry. I swear I don’t. As always I thank you so very much. I just want to walk this out so people can see. Not just through the lens of HIV but how my transparency can be applied to every aspect of our lives.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:15 AM
You are so strong! Thank you for sharing this honestly and open with us. I hope others read this and are inspired.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:43 AM
This was touching! You are courageous and creative in the way you shared this post.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:56 AM
You are brave, that was so honest and so transparent. Inspiring.
February 26, 2018 @ 4:45 AM
How awesomely courageous of you. Thanks for empowering others by sharing your story.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:16 PM
I was all in my feelings listening to you. Girl! Kudos to you for being honest and open. I know it can’t be easy but I hope you have empowered someone else to stand in their truth.
April 14, 2018 @ 8:37 AM
I swear i don’t mean to make the people feel all the feels. Lol.
At the core, that’s exactly what I want to do…empower a sister to stand in her truth. No matter what that truth is.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:36 PM
Wow. Thank you for sharing your journey. It takes an incredibly strong woman to share the way you have.
February 26, 2018 @ 2:56 PM
My goodness. My heart goes out to you LáDeia. Thank you for being so honest.
February 27, 2018 @ 1:15 AM
You are so brave! I don’t know if I’d have the courage to share the way you do. It’s great that your sugarbear is so supportive!
February 27, 2018 @ 1:28 AM
Wow! This is powerful. I commend and thank you for sharing that, I am sure your transparency and testimony will be helpful to others. Thank you for sharing!
February 27, 2018 @ 10:53 PM
Wow!!! It must have taken a lot out of you to share this, and I commend you for doing it. I hope it will inspire someone else to do the same and not hide behind it all. You are strong !!! and I wish you the very best.
April 14, 2018 @ 8:35 AM
It did take a lot.
I’m still surprised I shared but I understand that this is greater than me.
Thank you so much for even reading and the well wishes. I truly do appreciate it.
March 5, 2018 @ 5:47 AM
Wow is all I can saw. To put us up close and personal into what is probably the hardest moment of a person’s life was gut wrenching. I cannot know what it felt like but what I did see was a strong woman who did the right thing regardless of the consequences. Keep being amazing.
April 14, 2018 @ 8:33 AM
XOXO
I truly love and appreciate you.
March 10, 2018 @ 1:15 AM
So I see your post on my timeline all the time. I’m always commenting about your positivity and your smile. Here I am thinking you were just an advocate for HIV and AIDS. I never really read into the fact that you could have been positive. I never looked at you any different. I always offered to assist you with your events because PEOPLE ACT IGNORANT TO THE FACT THAT THIS IS REAL! I have always educated my children and people don’t understand how important it is.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TRUTH AND YOUR STRENGTH.
April 14, 2018 @ 8:32 AM
And I thank you for your love and support!
February 10, 2019 @ 5:55 AM
Taking the L keeps you in the position of sanity for yourself keeping in stride for God’s best for your life .many L ‘s come with this life but God’s grace is sufficient